His studies in philosophy, history and religion lend depth and richness to his training endeavors. He maintains that the therapist’s character and capacity for intimacy, and the client’s and the therapist’s relational and spiritual lives, are often crucial determinants in the outcome of therapy.

He is the author of The Heart and Soul of the Therapist: Rage, Fear, Desire, Loss and Love in the Psychotherapy Relationship. He has been an Executive Councilor in the American Academy of Psychotherapists, and for many years an Approved Supervisor for the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. He is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. 

In addition to numerous professional publications, he has also written an ongoing music column, book reviews, and social and political commentary.

He can be contacted at stephenhowardmd@gmail.com, or at 404-843-9072; or at 5885 Glenridge Drive, Suite 130, Atlanta, GA 30328.

Caring and The Therapist

“Caring is not easy. Caring makes us unsafe. When we care about someone we risk disappointment, anguish and loss. At the very least, we suffer their pain with them. The word compassion means ‘to feel along with.’

“It is understandable that we hesitate to care. It can wound us deeply. If one is unwilling or unable to suffer these wounds on a daily basis, it may be wise to consider another profession. But when we are able to care, the miracle happens: as the individual experiences acceptance and care, he begins to accept and care for himself. When he learns to value himself and see himself as lovable, he becomes capable of accepting and valuing others.”

 Values and Psychotherapy

“There have been attempts to make psychotherapy more ‘scientific’ by insisting that it is free of value judgements. But psychotherapy is about life, and human beings don’t function in life without values and priorities. Otherwise there would be no reason to get up in the morning, or indeed to do anything.

“Without values like compassion, mutuality, respect, individuality and integrity, psychotherapy becomes meaningless. If you offer me value-free therapy, I shall run the other way.”

“The Rules”

“There must be congruence between what we do and who we are. The rules can only provide guidelines. They cannot tell us what is healing at this moment, and they cannot account for the quality of each relationship and the personalities of each therapist and client. The rules cannot make allowance for individual temperament or experience. If we practice ‘by the book,’ there will be many people whom we fail to help. Rigid adherence to prescribed codes and techniques discourages personal connection; without that connection there can be no healing.

“On the other hand, it is foolish to ignore the formal systems of ethics and practice, standards set by our professional boards and civic governments. Standards are necessary to protect both profession and public, yet they carry an inherent dilemma: these standards are not exclusively concerned with ethics. They also have legal and political purposes that may or may not be congruent with the client’s welfare.” 

Love in psychotherapy

“All healing occurs in the crucible of loving relationships, and psychotherapy is a loving relationship designed especially to facilitate that healing. Regardless of the theories and techniques employed, or the particular dynamics of any given moment, the healing occurs in the relationship. This is why so many different personalities and approaches are likely to succeed: the healing power of the connection may flow in many different channels.

“Psychotherapy, properly conducted, is an art based in these acts of loving. The loving bond works as a force for healing the psychic wounds that we all bear…

“In psychotherapy we hope to teach people to love themselves better. Only through the experience of being loved do we learn that we are lovable. We can help people discover their worthiness only through our willingness to value their worth.” 

The therapist’s task

“Well, then (you’re asking me impatiently by now), just what is our job? And I answer: Our job is to join in a very special relationship, one that does not precisely exist anywhere else in life. In this relationship we combine aspects of healer, teacher, confessor, parent and friend. The relationship is built on caring, wisdom, instruction, astounding confidences, psychological knowledge, deep exploration and acts of love.

“The therapist’s responsibility is to make maximum use of herself and the therapeutic relationship, while recognizing the limitations and imperfections of life. She cannot be responsible for other people’s happiness or for whether they get what they want. She must allow her clients to own their difficulties, and thus to own the resolutions.

“Stated simply, our task is to be with people and to be the very best therapists we can be. The outcome is up to God, karma and the universe.” 

On the vulnerability of the therapist

“The client can benefit from the therapy only by being fully available to it. And the client can be fully available only if the therapist is present for his pain and his fear. In doing therapy, we are limited by what we are willing to endure.”

Material contained herein is copywrite University Press of America, 2008. Any unauthorized use beyond brief quotes is prohibited.